Vol 1, No. 2 Dec 2010

...A monthly newsletter designed to help make your marriage great. Each issue contains articles, tips and more.

Put a Little More Pizzazz in Your Relationship

By Lynn M. Griesemer

It’s no secret: couples go through cycles during their marriage.   Sometimes you’re getting along well with your spouse; sometimes not so well.  In fact, it is not uncommon for people to go from one extreme and ponder silently at some point during their marriage: “Why did I marry this person?” to “Wow!  I am so blessed to have my partner in my life.”

As the years begin to mount, so do the responsibilities:  new jobs, relocation, house payments, car payments, children may enter the family, and many other challenges.  At times, couples may feel overwhelmed with family life or even bored with a routine.  Sometimes they need a little spice in their life; something different.

The fields of biology and psychology tell us that the human condition involves one of change: people are continuously growing, learning and yearning to be productive.  Likewise, in successful marriage relationships, we must constantly learn, adapt and flow with the changes.   It is unacceptable to simply remain stagnant during the course of a marriage.  So, why not put a little spice into your relationship?

If you find yourself getting stuck in a routine or feeling that there could be more to your relationship, then you probably need to take on some new interests, meet new people or explore new places.  Sure, you can plan a vacation to another country, but the key is to rejuvenate your relationship on a continuous basis, in small ways. 

Many people live busy lives.  “Busy” is the understatement of the century and if you listen carefully, I bet you’ll hear the word “busy” at least once a day in the course of conversations with friends, co-workers or strangers you encounter.  The plight of modern man is that he is living life in the fast lane, with little time for meaningful connections.  So many tasks to accomplish, so little time.

The first thing you need to do is to think about  how important it is to spend TIME with your partner.  This is your beloved.  When you got married, would you dare let a busy life or other circumstances get in the way of spending time together? No.  The world was in the palm of your hand and you were going to ride off romantically into the sunset, unlike any other couple you’ve ever known.

You need time and you need to make your marriage a priority.  Then you need to figure out what you’d like to do.  Something recreational?  A hike?  How about a day trip to a scenic location in your region?  There are so many new places to explore -  do a little research and look for new things to see and do.  Think outside the box and look for something you’ve never done before.  Go to an outdoor concert.  Listen to live music or entertainment.  There are endless possibilities.

Do you have an active county parks and recreation department?  Take a look at what is available.  Or, enroll in a community adult education course together.  

When is the last time you spent quality time together, free of distractions?  One way to do that is to spend one night away in a bed and breakfast or hotel within one hour’s drive.  Your relationship could get a huge boost by leaving work and family responsibilities behind for just 24 hours. 

It all depends on your attitude.  Ask yourself: “Is our relationship worth it?”  I hope your answer is yes and I hope you decide to do some things regularly that add newness, inspiration and fun.  You will benefit; your marriage will benefit and your family will benefit from a happier couple.

Lynn M. Griesemer is a Marriage Coach and has been happily married for over 25 years. She helps struggling marriages improve and good marriages become great. www.marriagecoachlynn.com.

Listen to internet radio with Marriagecoachlynn on Blog Talk Radio Marriage Coach Lynn

Promote Your Page Too
Follow MarriageCoachLn on Twitter
Greet Your Spouse with a Smile

What do you think your spouse prefers:  Walking into the front door after a long day of work to a grumpy, frowning partner or being greeted with a smile and a kiss?  Even if you’ve had a bad day or difficult hour right before your spouse gets home, greet him or her with a cheerful attitude.  A smile will lift up both of you. Try this tomorrow:

Leave and welcome each other with an upbeat, happy greeting. No one wants to hear complaints.  We prefer to be around positive, cheerful people. Drop what you’re doing for a few seconds, treat your husband or wife with undivided attention, make eye contact, smile and embrace.  This takes just seconds to do and adds so much to your day.  Imagine if you did this every time you greeted or departed from the one you love!

Picture Couples Corner
Ted and Helen were married on October 8, 1940.  After 70 years of marriage, Ted and Helen say they’ve never gotten bored with each other.  Helen says, “We compliment and praise each other a lot.  We do things together.  We talk things out; no one’s the boss.”  I asked Helen to give some advice to young married couples.  “Make sure you’re in love, but that you’re also friends.  Stick together at social functions.  Do not flirt with others.  Compliment each other.  Make a list of the good things and the bad things and the good will always outnumber the bad.”
“Real love demands constant progress and continued self-mastery. In this lies its greatness.” – Javier Abad & Eugenio Fenoy

To ensure you receive our montly newsletter, make sure you add webmaster@marriagecoachlynn.com to your address book. If you prefer not to receive future email from MarriageCoachLynn.com, please unsubscribe here.