Falling in Love, Again: Rekindling Romance and Restoring Hope in Your Marriage
By Lynn M. Griesemer
Many people talk about “falling” in love as an important condition before marrying. My question for married couples is, are you “growing” in love? Growth happens with time and as your love matures.
While many of us may think love is at its peak on the day we get married, we encounter life experiences that were previously unknown and we discover hidden and new things about our spouse that deepen our love for each other. For example, the role of the mother and father emerge with the birth of a child. Growing in love means you can overlook the small quirks in your mate. It also means that you can forgive major and minor offenses and communicate and act in considerate ways. Growing in love means you get better at doing things you may not really want to do, for the sake of your partner and it means that you demonstrate affection and gratitude frequently.
Many couples experience an initial falling in love, but after several years, can’t quite pinpoint what happened along the way; some feel that some of the love has gone away - the romance has faded, the excitement has dulled. They wonder if others experience this lessening of passion and conclude that responsibilities have replaced the younger, carefree days.
I have some good news and some bad news. You can’t return to the magical days of early romance, when everything seemed perfect and surreal, where time stood still. As blissful and as peaceful as those days seemed, life has brought you to this point, with its many twists and turns, joys and heartaches. The person you are now is hopefully a richer, better version of the old you. You’ve probably encountered some major and minor challenges in your relationship and you’ve had to develop skills to deal with conflict and overcome hardship.
What is the good news if you are longing for a more satisfying relationship? The good news is that if you want to make improvements and you care about your spouse and your marriage, there are plenty of things you can do, beginning TODAY.
Unfortunately, there is not enough space in this column to list all of the things you can do. Some changes are very easy and reap immediate results; others take more time and effort. I invite you to listen to my weekly radio program on www.blogtalkradio.com/marriagecoachlynn. I’ve had many guest speakers and discussions about this topic during the past few months.
If I had to sum up the most important aspects of restoring your love, they would include: (1) you must have the desire to do so (2) you must care about your partner and your marriage (3) seek out skills and techniques about how to improve through books, people, and / or retreats (4) be patient with yourself and your partner. If it has taken several years for your marriage to slowly deteriorate, it may take more than just a few weeks to repair and restore your relationship.
Free Lecture: Falling in Love Again, February 14, 2011
Lynn M. Griesemer will be presenting a free seminar, “Falling in Love Again: Rekindling Romance and Restoring Hope in Your Marriage,” at the Chantilly Library Meeting Room on Monday, Feb. 14, 7:00-8:00pm. Chantilly Regional Library is located on 4000 Stringfellow Rd., Chantilly, VA 20151. The public is invited. Door prize – copy of “Reenergize Your Marriage in 21 Days.” Reservations accepted, but not required: firstname.lastname@example.org. To view a flyer of this event, visit www.MarriageCoachLynn.com/Feb14Flyer.html.