I would like to see couples staying together, committed to their marriage, but more importantly, happily married. Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce; an estimated 60% of second marriages fail and over 70% of third marriages end in divorce. Of those who stay together, it is estimated that only 50% describe their marriages as happy. That means about 25% of first-time married couples are happy with their relationships. This is pitiful! I would like to do my small part in helping couples resolve issues and restore peace, harmony and joy.
You and I are a team, working together for your solution. We share responsibility for the outcome. Each of us brings something valuable to our endeavor: You are the expert on your life and what you want to accomplish. I will bring my skills, knowledge, experience and training to help you achieve a more satisfying marriage. I believe that a coaching relationship is temporary and that your marriage will be enhanced by our professional relationship. Results and privacy are my priorities. I expect that you enter our coaching relationship with a strong desire and commitment to improvement.
I am sincere when I say, “Divorce is not an option.” Your marriage is the most important relationship of your life and as a Marriage Coach, I take my job – and your marriage – seriously. Yes, your marriage. The strength of society depends on solid, healthy marriages and families and I want to do all I can to help people make their marriage great. If I assumed that you are entertaining the idea of divorce (or dissolving your marriage), then I would not be focused on helping you to make your marriage great.
My mission is to help you improve the quality of your marriage as you navigate the complexities and change encountered during your lifelong companionship. My services are based on professional ethics, integrity, and experience. I enter professional relationships with the assumption that clients are interested in doing everything within their power to improve. As a coach, I will help you build new skills, focus on endurance and the big picture, while making targeted changes that work. I will help you identify your relational strengths and weaknesses, assist you in locating the best relationship resources and promise to give you top value for your investment.
It is important that the client feels safe and trusting in the presence of his coach or therapist. This is why I invite you to acquaint yourself with my website and why my first session will always be free. The quality of our professional relationship will have an effect on your ability to implement improvements. Our rapport involves my ability for reflective listening, acceptance, respect, and understanding. Your burden is to have enough faith and trust to be vulnerable and present your concerns honestly and as articulately as possible. I will help you break through limiting self-talk, negative beliefs and faulty or limiting patterns of thinking to bring you to a more satisfactory place in your relationship.
Client-Centered: I am Client-Centered who has been heavily influenced by Dr. Gerard Egan (“The Skilled Helper”), with additional respect for Carl Rogers, Albert Ellis and the Co-Active Coaching Method (Whitworth, Kimsey-House and Sandahl). The skilled helper method builds a client-centered working alliance between coach and client, values diversity and individuality, seeks genuineness, focuses on pragmatism and results, client-responsibility, and non-patronizing empowerment. There is a bias toward action. Dr. Egan believes that helping is a relatively short term process and I agree!
Albert Ellis, with his Open-Systems Model, believes that “Efficient therapy remains flexible, curious, empirically-oriented, critical of poor theories and results, and devoted to effective change. It is not one-sided or dogmatic. It is ready to give up the most time-honored and revered methods if new evidence contradicts them. It constantly grows and develops.”
“Any kind of helping worth its salt is useful, right from the start.” -Gerard Egan
Humanistic: As a psychology major, I favored the humanistic theorists including Abraham Maslow (hierarchy of needs) and Carl Rogers (client-centered therapy). Self-improvement, self-actualization and the fullness of the human experience is what I believe and practice. As a Catholic, I have the view that God created us, intends for us to be happy and that we are connected – that we are brothers and sisters in Christ. Some might think that Catholicism and Humanism are opposite ends of the spectrum, but I am concerned with the experience of being fully human and the dignity of human beings.
These views prompt me to help others put into perspective issues in a non-selfish manner including the value of suffering, sacrifice, hope, responsibility and communication. The dignity of the whole, human person and his external environment must be considered. I coach people of all faiths and limit my practice to engaged couples and married couples seeking greater satisfaction in their relationships.
Holistic Health: All aspects of people's needs – emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and social - should be taken into account and seen as a whole. Disease is a result of physical, emotional, spiritual, social and environmental imbalance. Likewise, marital happiness is a critical element to achieving balance and a sense of holism in your life.
Because of my human resources background, I am an advocate of wellness in the workplace. Up until this point, many organizations have emphasized “Employee Assistant Programs” or wellness focused on physical well-being, but I believe that marital discontent has interfered with productive hours on the job: phone calls to lawyers, hushed conversations with co-workers, tardiness, absences, mistakes or lack of focus on the job, etc. I am available for lunch-time presentations in the workplace on a variety of marriage topics.
Goal-oriented: If you want help with relationship and communication skills, as well as encouragement, I can help. You may choose individual or couples coaching. I will help you create a plan for improving your situation and relationship, offer suggestions, and helpful homework / tips. If I am not a good fit for your needs, I will refer you to someone who is.
Current psychologists whose theories I’ve found to be helpful: Marriage: John Gottman (gottman.com), Willard Harley (marriagebuilders.com), Gary Chapman (garychapman.org). Parenting: James Stenson (parentleadership.com), Anthony Wolf, John Rosemond (rosemond.com), Ray Guarendi (drray.com). General: Judy Pearson (engagethepower.com)
Confidential: Your privacy is cherished and respected.