FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Isn’t an expert, with a Ph.D. best suited to dole out advice and take responsibility for important issues pertaining to marriage?
A. Let’s think through this question. Coaches do not dole out advice. They serve as facilitators and guides. Here is a chart that illustrates the differences:
THERAPY COACHING
Assumes the client needs healing Assumes the client is highly functional
Roots in medicine, psychiatry Roots in business and personal growth venues
Works with people to achieve self-understanding, functioning and emotional healing Works to motivate people to a higher level of functioning
Focuses on feelings and past events, past-orientation Focuses on actions and the future; goal-orientation
Explores the root of problems Focuses on solving problems
Works to bring the unconscious into consciousness Works with the conscious mind
Works for internal resolution of pain and to let go of old patterns Works for solutions to overcome barriers; learn new skills and implement effective choices

Imagine reading a book about downhill skiing. Now imagine a coach on the slopes teaching and guiding you to being the best you can be. Skiing requires training and coaching; Olympic skiers have professional coaches guiding them to peak performance. Marriage coaching is similar in that a coach helps you perfect the skills needed to make marriage more successful.

Coaching, in my opinion, deals with the here and now, is immediately tangible, and action- oriented. Traditional therapy may spend a lot of time uncovering issues at the expense of focusing on immediate strategies for success.

I am always on the look-out to identify if a couple has deeper / more serious issues going on that would warrant an “expert” psychologist, psychiatrist, or other clinically trained person. I cannot diagnose anything. I attract clients who would like to improve their struggling marriage or make their good marriage great.

Q. How can I identify a good coach vs. an ineffective coach?
A. Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of a coach. There are currently no universal standards or regulations for coaches. If you look at my background, you’ll see that some of what I’ve done in the past has paved the way toward my competency as a coach. I am a self-taught professional who keeps current in this field and who has built upon a solid foundation. My first session is always free and you can get to know me through this website, by listening to my blogtalkradio episodes, podcast and youtube channel.  You can read some of my books and easily observe my values in order to determine if I am the right person for you. Beginning with the first free session, you will have an opportunity to put some suggestions into practice. Great coaches consistently help clients; ineffective coaches are unable to help their clients achieve life-changing results.
Q. Shouldn’t someone assess the situation and then guide you in a certain direction?
A. Not necessarily. The client is the one who must do the work if he or she is to experience life-changing improvements. Therapists are seen as experts and coaches do not necessarily claim to be experts. My role is to serve clients, not fix their problems. I walk hand in hand with you as you take ownership and discover what you need to do to improve. I listen to your goals and determine if we need to tweak those goals for the best outcome. Oftentimes people state what they think their problem is, but there may be something more: “My husband is a slob; he always leaves laundry on the floor, leaves dishes in the sink and the bathroom sink is atrocious after he shaves.” That is probably not the real reason for the wife’s discontent; those are habits and behaviors that can be dealt with or accepted by the spouse. A good coach will be able to assess the situation and together, the coach and client discuss avenues for change.
Q. How effective is coaching vs. traditional therapy?

A. I was intrigued to discover that couples seek a therapist, on average, seven years after they’ve been having marital difficulties. By that time, there is a lot of work to be done to restore the relationship to intimacy. It is not uncommon for couples to reluctantly go to a therapist as a last ditch effort, on the brink of filing for divorce. Some couples are directed by a court / judge to go to counseling. Counselors are challenged by clients who are going through the motions, with no intention of repairing their poor marriage. Some psychologists have even left their field to become marriage coaches and enjoy it. Perhaps they are attracting and serving clients who truly want to make improvements.

Many Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT’s) explain that they are only 20-30% successful in getting couples to improve their relationships and stay married. Many couples get divorced after seeking help. I don’t know about you, but a 20-30% success rate is pitiful. Clients pay a lot of money to go week after week for poor results. In all fairness, people who seek counseling usually have major problems and are considering divorce; coaching attracts clients with better marriages.

It is my intention to have a higher success rate than traditional counseling. Take a look at the coaching packages and you will see that I design programs to help you in your relationship; we will not collect your money for a weekly session, with no end in sight. We have specific goals in mind and can address most issues with a four-session package.

There are many ways to turn a floundering marriage around and coaching is designed for improvement. MFT’s often have a “neutral” philosophy: “Maybe this marriage needs to dissolve and maybe there is hope for this marriage. We have to uncover the deep issues and take it from there.” With me and the clients who are drawn to me, divorce is not an option; I share skills and strategies that help.

Although the main responsibility for success rests upon the client, a good coach will help clients reach greater satisfaction and even profound happiness in their relationship.

Q. What is your rate / fee
A. The first session is always free and lasts about twenty minutes. Within a week after the first session, I will make a proposal and offer ideas on ways in which to continue, based on your individual situation. It is said that most people who seek counseling for a short term basis will attend 8-12 sessions. I’ve designed packages which contain four sessions. You can find the package descriptions in the services and products section. I am willing to provide one session (investment of $125), but a package of four sessions is recommended for better results. I am here to serve you and we will not proceed unless you have the desire and motivation to do so.
Q. How much time do I need to invest in coaching?
A. The coaching relationship is based on your terms and your goals. The best approach is to book a FREE twenty minute session and after that, I will outline some suggestions. I have found that one of the four-session coaching packages  provides a good foundation for lasting improvement. After completion of one package, you might want to continue. Couples can expect to do “homework” in between sessions. It is your choice whether or not you prefer to meet weekly or biweekly. My goal is to help you so that you no longer need or desire coaching! I want you to take advantage of my services and move to a place of profound happiness and fulfillment in your marriage. I will give you techniques that you can use for the rest of your life. As a coach, I see myself as a booster to you, the rocket. I help you soar to higher levels; we disengage and you catapult on your own to extraordinary heights.